The Jerky Junkie

Here you have it. I usually tear Jerky apart in my reviews and, well, you need to see what I’m measuring all of these varieties against. The Vermont Beef Jerky Company’s 4 varieties of jerky are easily my gold standard for excellent beef jerky. Unlike the Formosa bait and switch, what you see in these packages is what you get. VBJC has nothing to hide about it’s jerky and is presented in a completely transparent package for your viewing pleasure. I will focus, as expected, on the Teriyaki flavored variety, but it should be known that the unusual Maple and Spice flavor is a satisfying bit of chewing goodness. Let us taste on to bask in the glory of good, nay, amazing jerky.

The Jerky Scale Scores:

5 : Moist perfection

5 : Exceptional cuts of meat

5 : Wonderful balance of chewy texture

2 : Variable, but on average cut very thin

4 : Pleasantly strong, fruity sweetness

3 : Medium saltiness

1 : Next to no Spice

Tearing open the packaging, the would-be snacker is greeted by a fresh, rich, fruity scent from the teriyaki flavoring. The pieces of jerky are exceptionally thin sliced and cut in bite-sized pieces for an easily one-handed consumption experience. Beware, this means you can eat the package in 20 minutes without thinking about it. These pieces are excellent cuts of meat, removing that crazed carnivore meat-ripping necessity from your munch time. The cuts are lavishly basted with flavor that has a burst of pineapple at it’s start, moving to the sweet and satisfying soy sauce tone and overall juicy richness that most of us are unaccustomed to in a jerky. The cuts of meat do have the occasional strip of fat in them, but I find that these are more than tolerable, and tend to harbor a pleasant, more flavorful interlude between beefy nibbles.

The Outer Scale Scores:

5: The Best Jerky Money Can Buy

3: Average packaging: keeps it fresh, but only for 1 go

Sadly, the one downfall of this brand is the packaging. VBJC is counting on a one-time consumption of the package of beef jerky, therefore opting out of a re-sealable package. Keeping this in mind, the consistency of the jerky lends itself happily to being transplanted into sealable storage bags, packing up rather nicely.

Overall, this is my very favorite jerky. I continue to search for it’s challenger and equal, though have found no substitute just yet. Suggestions are encouraged and welcome. In the meantime, I will nosh on my teriyaki goodness thanks to the Vermont Beef Jerky Company site, and bid thee good beefing.

Stay tuned, there’s meat to come.

In recent years there has been more a movement in various snack varieties toward reducing the amount of salt packed into snack foods. Beef Jerky has not eluded this movement. Behold! Jim Beam Bourbon Glaze Steak Strips. This particular jerky is actually made with beef brisket and sliced a bit thicker than nearly any brand I have encountered. The front of the packaging promises a roasty experience akin to a pleasant Sunday dinner on the go with a hint of sweet bourbon. Will the picture live up to the satisfaction we hope it will provide? Let us taste on.

The Jerky Scale Scores:

3 : Medium dryness

4 : Quality cuts of meat

4 : Solid and excellent texture

4 : Greater thickness

3 : Mildly sweet

2 : Low saltiness

2 : Little Spice

As a lighter, higher quality piece of snack meat this jerky is a success. Though it is not advertised as a lower salt jerky option, when checking the packaging and tasting the product you will notice a certain lack of the traditional jerky flavor. The taste of the bourbon glaze is very light and nearly saltless. If you are easily overwhelmed by the sodium-laden varieties of typical beef jerky, this is a quality option for you. Not only will your arteries thank you, but you may actually take your time to enjoy this jerky. As for the results of using a different cut of meat, it is a testament to what jerky meat can be. The thickness of the pieces alone makes you expect to find this on a dinner plate, not in the cup holder of your car. Texture wise, it was a bit dry, but not bad given the low-fat cut of meat.

The Outer Scale Scores:

5 : worth a try, worth sharing

3 : the packaging is average

The packaging on this jerky is average; not too tricky, not exactly fabulous. I won’t be saving this bag as a utilitarian memento, but it serves its purpose for keeping this classy beefy fresh.

On the whole, this is a good, different kind of beef jerky. Even my mother, someone who rather despises beef jerky, wanted a second piece after I cajoled her into the first. An exception to the usual jerky, a more heart healthy choice for the timid.

Stay tuned. There’s meat to come.

Yes, you read correctly, “Fruit Flavored.” My adventures to new locales of the city of Boston have brought me to branch out into more foreign made snack foods for an array of palettes. Enter upon the scene an Asian palette-centric jerky put out by the Formosa company, promising a fruity flavored beefy goodness with an exotic twist. Will the jerky consumers and producers of the East meet with approval of a Western taste? Let us taste on.

The Jerky Scale Scores

4: very moist

1: terrible cuts of meat

2: challenging to chew

3: average thickness

5: incredibly sweet

2: lightly salty

1: no spice

The Fruit Jerky experience starts with hope and curiosity. Looking through the window of the plastic packaging, the would-be consumer is greeted by the look of impossibly moist meat. The sauce and delicious darkness of what we see promises a gentle chewing experience with an explosion of flavor. Tearing open the package to embrace the prize inside results in messy hands and a gritty surface texture. In an effort to create a sweeter jerky, Formosa has added a larger grain sugar to it’s sauce, resulting in a perplexing experience. Beyond the fingertips we enter the realm of the bizarre when actually consuming the jerky: the meat does not actually have a taste of it’s own and has an extremely dry texture akin to the previously reviewed Oberto. The cuts of meat used appear to be from the hind quarters of what we assume to be beef and have a tough consistency.

The Outer Scale Scores:

1: A bizarre and disappointing option

3: Average packaging

The packaging of this jerky serves its purpose of luring in the consumer with false hope. Should the desire to continue eating this product remain despite the textural difficulties, one would need to transfer the item to another bag. Re-sealable is not the motto of Formosa Beef Jerky, so it is somewhat of an all or nothing purchase.

As an adventure, Formosa Beef Jerky is more of a novelty into strangely phrased snacks than an item that will develop into a snack habit.

In hindsight, when in an Asian grocery store, don’t buy the item that the Asians in the store start snickering at you for picking up unless you already know how it tastes.

Stay tuned, there’s better meat to come.

Moving on to more sophisticated meat, we encounter a challenger to the average jerky image. Behold! Jack Links Prime Rib Tenders. Such a cut of meat conjures up images of meaty, bloody steaks with savory rubs and accompanying Au Jus. Yet, we wonder, how does this translate to beef jerky? Prime Rib, like many higher end steaks, has a rather high fat content, and has the potential to do some weird things in jerky. This is no matter to those jerkists at Jack Links. The meat is re-formed into pinkie-size pieces and packaged for our pleasure. Sound odd, yet interesting? Read on.

The Jerky Scale Scores

4: very moist

4: quality cuts of meat

4: easy to chew

4: thicker chunks

1: not sweet

5: very salty

2: little spice

What the folks at Jack Links have managed to provide are salty sticks of re-formed beef, with a very beefy aroma. There’s no sneaking these babies into the movie theater or church without everyone knowing. Prime Rib Tenders make a statement, and that statement is “ha ha, now you’re hungry too!” The surface of the tenders is the normal drop of canola oil in any bagged item that might stick to the bag. Under that surface is a flavor that you don’t want to like, but you do. You also like the idea of a Coke or a Beer with it after 3 pieces. This is a jerky that you need to break up a bit, unless you have a serious salt deficiency. As for the re-formed aspect, it is no worse than a few sausage links at breakfast. There’s going to be some texture, since Jack Links decided not to turn them into cocktail wieners with pureed beef in the middle. The texture gives these tenders character…tasty tasty character.

The Outer Scale Scores:

4: A specialized choice, but a good buy

1: Excellent packaging

Luckily for those who want to put the brakes on after 4 pieces of this salty bad boy, Jack Links has excellent packaging to keep this meaty goodness moist and fresh. It is hard to tear wrong with this bagging, and the smaller sized bag fits in more places than the monster bags flat jerky comes in.

Sharing is caring with this variety of jerky. This may start as a novelty among friends, starting with “let me try one of those weird lookin’ things,” followed by “hey, those aren’t bad.” I say they’re great in moderation and delicious to have on hand.

Stay tuned. There’s meat to come.

I have tried many beef jerky brands and flavors of the truck-stop-availability variety, and the second most prolific brand is certainly Oberto. From Wal Mart, to 7 Eleven, Circle K stations, to fine establishments like Dysart‘s Truck stop, Oberto makes it‘s presence known. This is a standard jerky, so the playing field is fairly level. That said, does it stand up and shine above the rest, or does it become a high-price brand name on something that store band would suffice on? Let us taste on.  

The Jerky Scale Scores

2: lightly moist

3: decent cuts of meat

2: tough

3: average thickness with the occasional chunky bit

4: rather sweet

2: mildly salty

1: no spice

“Oh Boy” Oberto Teriyaki flavored beef jerky certainly attempts to scream “Oh boy,” but it comes out more like “Oh brother.” Like everyone’s favorite uncle, the Teriyaki form of this beefy treat makes an attempt to do something cool, and manages to fall just short on it’s face. The flavor is mild, sweet, and inoffensive, but nothing to write home about. The texture of this variety is a bit slick due to the flavoring, but the beef itself ranges between crumbly connected with non-meat cow tissue and the expected dryness of jerky. This is the result of a range of meat cuts being used, and I am sorry to say that it is literally a grab bag. If you plan to grab a bag, don’t feel ashamed for inspecting the cuts through the plastic window. You’ll be less disappointed later.

The Outer Scale Scores:

3 : an average choice

3 : the packaging can be troublesome

The packaging is an easy open deal, but the likelihood of messing up when tearing an opening above the zip-loc gives it a 50-50 shot of surviving the urgency of your hunger. So please, take care. Wasting jerky is a crime; even an average jerky.

…then again, I rarely need to re-seal mine since it’s gone anyway, so that’s an option too.

Overall, not a horrible jerky. You won’t poison your friends with it, but I wouldn’t expect you to serve it at your next formal dinner party. For some reason, chewing dried meat while trying to make a good impression is rather frowned upon.

I think they’re jealous.

Stay tuned. There’s meat to come.

We step into the realm of non-traditional beef jerky with Pemmican, a Native American variant on the currently popular form of beef jerky. Pemmican, though exotic sounding, is a standard, easy to find jerky. I find it most often in gas stations and convenience stores for a very reasonable price. But is this a case of getting what you pay for?

Here comes the test. Today’s flavor choice? Teriyaki.

The Jerky Scale Scores:

1 : Dry

2 : Passable cuts of meat

1 : Crumbly

3 : Medium thickness

1 : Not sweet

3 : Average saltiness

1 : No Spice

On first glance you think you have gotten a deal with purchasing Pemmican. Instead, you are stuck with a bag of dry, re-pressed ground beef to be used strictly in starvation emergencies in your tractor trailer truck. Keep in glove box in case of blizzard? Fine. Offer to friends on a short hike? Only if all your food went down river with the canoe.

The medium thickness of the pieces originally gives you hope for a satisfying, chewy time. Sadly, the chewing becomes the only sensation you can call a reward for your labors, since the seasoning mostly comes down to some salt and pepper. I actually forgot that it was supposed to be Teriyaki flavored until I looked at the packaging again.

The Outer Scale Scores:

1 : not worth buying

1 : the packaging makes it last

While the contents were disappointing, there is no question that this stuff will last you. The packaging is better-made than the product, so you won’t have to worry about needing frequent re-buys of your emergency stash in the car/pack/or pocket.

In the end, Pemmican turns out to be the traditional beef jerky’s sad half-brother, but he certainly puts hussle into his game.

Stay tuned. There’s meat to come.

Hello and welcome to my journey through the unlikely world of beef jerky. This journey will include glory and shame, and everything in between…not to mention beefy goodness around every corner.

Every week I will nibble and review a new jerky and subject it to my scrutinizing scales of sampling.

The Jerky Scale:

1-5  “dry” to “slippery”

1-5 “dog food scraps” to “steakhouse prime”

1-5  “crumbly” to “chewy”

1-5 “super-thin” to “small-steak-thick”

1-5 “not sweet” to “super sweet”

1-5 “no salt” to “Dead Sea salty”

1-5 “no spice” to “ungodly spicy”

I will also review the source of the Jerky for your informational needs:

The Outer Scale:

1-5 “not worth buying” to “buy as much as you can”

1-5 “one use packaging” to “packaging that makes it last”

In the end I will always give my final verdict and am happy to have feedback on your own dried discoveries.

…You may wonder where this inspiration came from.

Then again, you may not wonder, and simply want me to get to the good/bad stuff. Simply said, the day I tried Beef Jerky was a fateful day, and all other days since have been brighter.

Stay tuned. There is meat to come.